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How to Improve Your Social Media Game: 3 Tips from a Dating Coach

by Alonso Chehade on January 16, 2012

No matter what, not matter who, no matter when, any community manager has a chance to sweep any social network's feet, he (or she) just needs the right broom.

In an exclusive interview Tyler Young, Dating Coach and Founder of Attractology, shared with us three tips that community managers can use to improve their social media strategy... or should I say game?  

Tip #1 - Be Passionate

If you're truly into something, you should try to create the same feeling in another person. If you are genuinely passionate about your subject, you can talk about something as mundane as a door and get the other person to think "wow, that's a pretty cool door".  

It doesn't really matter what the topic is, what matters is your delivery, what you do and say to create that feeling.  We're emotional creatures, and two things control us, our thoughts and our feelings.  If you can get past the thought process and get more into that emotional response, you are going to have much more impact on your audience.  

Tyler believes that in order to be interesting you really have to be passionate about what you're talking about and that will manifest itself in the other person responding to you with interest. The same rule applies when the engagement happens between a social network community manager and their audience.

Tip # 2 - Listen Intently 

You have to be genuinely interested in what people are saying to you and you have to listen intently.  

Sometimes that's the hardest part, we get trapped in our own mind "what's going to be my next question, what are we going to talk about, OK she said something about tennis and I know something about tennis, maybe I'll bring that up later" and we start thinking about that instead of listening to what they are saying at this moment.  

We need to get out of our heads sometimes and just really listen intently and that's how we can engage because then we'll know exactly what it is that we want to talk about and what we are going to want to focus on.  

I think when you're talking about dating engagement vs marketing engagement really it's about listening intently first, and then diving into the topics that matter the most to that person. 

Tip #3 - Don't get frustrated

Tyler uses the term ROE, which stands for return on energy to describe what he means. The idea is simple: the more energy you put into an interaction, hopefully the more you will get back. However, you have to be OK with it if the other person may not invest as much energy into the engagement as you do.  

If your date (or audience if you're a social network community manager) is not responding as enthusiastically as you would hope (or not at all) when you ask a question, you have to be OK with that.  You have to understand that you're not talking to an empty room, it's just that some people are consumers of communication and less responsive, but it does not mean that they are not listening or have not heard you.  

There are two types of people in this world, there are the exhibitionists and the voyeurs (or lurkers).  A lot of people consume a  lot of social media without putting it back out there and they are the voyeurs, and that's fine.  

They know that they are reading this stuff, they know that they're taking it in, and hopefully finding value in it and that's why they follow you.  But they are not really going to respond at first. In time that will start to change and as most people get comfortable with Twitter and they start to feel that they know the dynamics of this new medium, they are likely to start to get more involved and put more energy into it and as this happens your ROE will get better.

The key is, don't get frustrated, keep doing what you're doing if you know it is the right thing to do and eventually it'll come back to you. 

Our Video Interview With Tyler

Find Tyler Online

You can find Tyler Young online on Facebook and Twitter.

 

If you liked this post you may also be interested in:

- How to Get People Talking About You: An Interview with Andy Karuza